American <i>vaghaar(taDkaa)</i>

vaghaar in Gujarati (taDkaa in Hindi) is the process — essential in cooking — of sauteing herbs and spices in heated oil. In this page, without bias or favouritism or judgment to anyone, you may find, as it is, the bitter-sweet-hot-sour flavour of the American (or immigrant) life keeping the desiness alive. Read it, you will know it what I’m talking about.

*****

I was in the express-lane of this super-market store to check out the stuff I bought. Only one lane was opened at that time. I was waiting for my turn. While waiting, I saw a super-market employee — a middle aged-indian-looking lady — checked-in to another counter near to this only opened counter. She had a lunch box and water-bottle with her. She neatly put them besides the counter. She inwardly prayed the God and did namaskar to the counter and sent a word out: “This counter is opened now. You can start here”.

Seeing the opportunity, I broke out from my present lane and started at this newly opened lane this Indian lady was serving to. I placed the stuff on the counter to scan. One of them was a 5 lb bag of potatoes. I was paying a bit of attention to the prices. When the bag of the potatoes got scanned, it showed $2.58. I thought this was a bit high price compared to the market. So I simply asked my father in Gujarati language that “the price of the potato bag seems high to me. Shall we just return it back?”

Before my father could reply, the lady at the counter said to me in Gujarati language: “Yes, the price of the potato bag is high here compared to others. You better buy the potatoes from so-and-so shop. There it’s very cheap.”

I was very glad to see a Gujarati speaking lady working at the american superstore. Since she saved me some money, I thought to give her a money saving tip that I knew. The wheat flour prices are sky rocketing. So I told her that: “You can buy a whole-wheat flour from your own super-market which is very reasonable compared to the Indian grocery store and mix this whole-wheat flour with all-purpose flour/duram flour and it will give really nice and tasty roti and will save you some bucks.”

We talked in Gujarati about the inflation and its impact on poors, specially in India. When all my items got scanned, I paid the bill and was on my way to home.

Loaded on Mar 11, 2008
*****

“Look aunty, I don’t have greencard and I haven’t applied for it. If you are looking for someone for your niece with a GC or citizenship, then let me tell you very frankly that I’m not the one.”

“No, no. We don’t care for your resident status. We just want a decent match with good education and sanskars for my niece.

… blah blah…

“Why didn’t you apply for GC when you had a chance?” She couldn’t stop her curiosity.

I said to myself: Why do you care about my status when you – yourself – made clear that you guys are not concerened with it? And didn’t I clarify my status in the first place itself? Don’t you get it, lady?

Loaded on Nov 2, 2007
*****

She was responding to the matrimonial advertisement I put up in a newspaper.

“I understand you are on a work permit. But if you have to settle here, are you ready?” she asked me.

” Yes. I don’t see any problem in staying here, if thats the best option for the family. But let me ask you this: for a good cause, if you will have to settle in India, what will be your answer?” I asked her.

“Well, I have visited India. And I love it. I can stay there for a month or two on a vacation. But I can’t live there forever”. She replied.

Loaded on Nov 2, 2007
*****
“I tell you, you can make a lot of money here.. but, there’s no life here!”
“Then, why don’t you return back to your motherland?”
“Well, I can’t. See! I’m very old now. I lived here ever since I moved here. I have my family and friends here. There is no one back there! Most of my relatives are here, too. What will I do there if I return back? Moreover, I sold whatever property I had back in India. If I return back now, I will feel like a tourist….”
“…in your own motherland?”

Loaded on Sept 18, 2007
*****
Some ladies were talking.
Lady 1: No No. I have never put my kids in day-care. Either myself or my mother-in-law always looked after them at home.
Lady 2: Even I never wanted to put my kids in day-care either. But see! I have to work all day so that we can pay mortgage. You are lucky that you had no worries about mortgage.
Loaded on Sept 5, 2007
*****
Lady 1: How good facilities are in India! You can pay just Rs.5 to an auto-rickshaw and come to temple everyday!
Lady 2[pointing to some very old ladies]: baryu, [means Damn it!] and here, these oldies can not even come to temple without we giving them rides.
Loaded on Sept 5, 2007

*****
Lady 1: We don’t want to live here, forever. After few years, we are going to go back to India.
Lady 2: How good that be! Even I am planning to return back…..but……..I’m not sure whether I can now adjust to the living conditions there…
Lady 3: Well! Everything that you get here is also available in India.
Loaded on Sept 5, 2007
*****
“So..How long you have been here in US?” I asked him to keep the talk alive during the dinner.
“23.” He said.
“Wow! You have been here for 23 years??!!Came to do your MS?”
“Yes. I came for MS, but the love for dollars made me…..”
“buy a motel?” A gentlemen sitting across our table got curious in our talk and jumped in.
“No.”
“Then must be a store..” The gentleman said.
“No. I was doing the job and in fact, I’m still doing the job at ******” He said.
“Oh ******! That’s a very good company. It’s stock reached 95 and stabilized at 85 now.”
“Yes, they are going to split now”
“That’s good. Small investors will get opportunity to jump in.” And the gentleman sitting across got up as he finished his dinner.

He turned to me and said with sheer excitement:”Yes. Even I can’t believe myself that I have been here for so long. It’s as if I just arrived yesterday. I can still imagine myself standing on the airport on the day I arrived. The time simply flies here. By this pace, you don’t know when the life’s gonna end! I realized that you have only one life to live. And time is simply running. And that’s why I want to go back to India to do whatever I always wanted to do.”

I kept silence as I have observed that whenever you talk about returning to India, people just jump in the discussion and it leads no where. Keeping mum, I was eating my dinner. After a while, may be because of curiosity, he asked me about my lenth and purpose of stay in US. I gave him a bit of history lesson.

“Why didn’t you apply for GC last time?” he couldn’t resist asking the familiar question – just like others. I tried to explain him that THAT was and is not my goal.

“Ya. Even I don’t have any attachments to anything here. But the reason I’m staying here is, I have some obligations to fulfil. See my daughter was born here……” He explained.

Our talk was interrupted as someone else jumped in to say hello to him. And I didn’t ask him about his obligations.
Loaded on Sept 5, 2007